Nov 16th 2008
I have been feeling pretty good about things here lately- still lonely- most certainly lonely but I’ve been feeling more hopeful. I loved filming the movie and am eager to get my hands on another project and am trying to figure out how to do that!
I took the job in the Moon bears and have mixed feelings about it. I must say, there is something about this group of children that convinced me to be their teacher. That and the other teachers, Susan and Brett are hilarious and I think potential great friends. There is an energy in that room, a calmness, and a hilarity that is so welcoming to me! I am excited to be Miss Michaela.
On another note, though I am eagerly anticipating this upcoming election and fueled with a passion so strong for the change I feel certain to come, there has been a saddness surrounding it all. This saddness is a feeling I get everytime Mihai and I discuss politics, watch the news, or try to discuss our different perspectives. Mihai is super conservative and I couldn't be more liberal if I wanted to be. We were both born in different countries, Mihai under the communist regime and I grew up in the Theatre....I don't think there is any place more open minded than in the world of theatre! I understand our differences or I try to. But some of the things he says really frighten me and make me wonderful how the hell can we grow together when our fundamentals are such opposites. I start to get upset, angry, sad and fight him to "open his mind" which is SO open minded of me :) He does the same and I get upset at him for trying to change my mind when I know it's "right."
I don’t want Mihai to turn down his light for me either. I see how different we are yet how similar. We are both so passionate about life, people, adventure and have such strong opinions about what we believe to be right and wrong and won’t hesitate to scream it from the mountaintops. But, if we are to do that- he and I would be screaming at each other from opposite mountaintops. No longer a team but opponents. It creates a huge disconnect and makes me lonely for my best friend.
I believe that this is a test of sorts, perhaps. For one who claims to be so open minded, I sure am close minded to the views of a Republican. But then again, some of the things that come out of his mouth I just cannot accept for it opposes everything that I believe to be true about life. And that is my truth. It just makes me think on a larger scale, how to nations who have such different points of view find peace? Surely if they can do it, so can Mihai and I?
Time will tell. Relationships are messy. If someone two years ago were to ask me if I would ever end up sleeping with a Republican let alone falling in love with one, I would have laughed in their face and said “no chance in hell.” But God has an awfully great sense of humor and love really does just pop up out of nowhere and certainly when you least expect it. Time is the only medicine.
But this I know to be true about us, today….when the news channels are turned off, the newspapers tossed into the recycling bin, our egos retired for the day and we are lying in bed cuddling and laughing- and I’m staring into his eyes and see who he really is- all of that disappears and he is quite simply,my best friend. And there is no place I would rather be.
Ah, life.