Choose Wilbur not Fear

I  for one am OVER all this talk and fear based thinking surrounding the swine flu.  

Do you know that 35,000 people die from the regular flu every year?!?

Yet, still everyone is SO concerned about this strand and it is filling our radio stations, news channels with constant updates on the latest victims and death tolls.  Why?! Because it's something new and we aren't sure why it's spreading and the media is harboring on the fear that this can generate.  

 Let me tell you all of this attention, fear, and negative energy isn't attracting anything positive or healthy into the world.

So let's change the channel, turn down the news and the reports.  Take an emergency, your vitamins, a yoga class and restore your health with healing thoughts.  

Let us put our attention to the beautiful swine that have made our lives better and happier.

Choose Wilbur.  Choose Babe.  Do not choose fear.

And that is all I have to say about THAT!!!

Moments

Lately I have been extremely nostlagic and captivated by life's little moments.  A wedding, a birth, preparing to say goodbye to your parents as you see them off on their 6 month travels, the moments in a relationship that keep you fighting for it. 

Life is indeed a song composed of single notes coming together to create a gorgeous melody.

The Beginning

Our Beginning

The Romanian and I met at my brother's wedding in Romania, where while working in the Peace Corps he met, fell in love and became engaged to a woman living there.  Along with some of my family, I traveled there to celebrate my brother's big day and in turn met his good friend, The Romanian.  We hit it off and along with a great group of people explored the countryside and city life in some extraordinarily beauitful parts of Romania.

We both later told each other how attracted to one another we were at that time, but both being in relationships we of course didn't do anything about it.  I went home, he went back to school and life moved on.  We later reconnected online and spent the following 6 months talking online, on the phone and the occassional web camera chat.  We took much time learning and discovering who the other was.  It was exciting, delicious and terrifying.  I was falling in love...for the first time in my life- actually WITH someone.  He felt the same way.  And it was everything falling in love should be- completely meant to be.

Finally I had had enough of talking on the phone and staring at him through the computer screen.  I knew no real relationship could grow in this way and asked him what he thought about getting his working visa to come visit.  

3 months later I was waiting for him with his Uncle at the JKF airport, in heels running to the bathroom to check my lipstick every 10 minutes.  I will never forget this moment, ever.  We had to stand for an entire hour waiting.  His uncle and I passed the time talking about Romania and the challenges the Communist regime brought to Mihai and his family and how I am too liberal :)

Talking, feeling the blisters on my feet growing faster by the minute and waiting for the doors to open up and see him....I had to fight my nerves, excitement and thoughts.  "Would he be as good looking as I remembered?"  Would he think I was as good looking as he remembered?"  "Will the chemistry be there?"  "Do I hug him, kiss him on the cheek? Omhgodhurryup!!!!"  

It was the longest most exciting hour of my life.  The doors opened up for the 50th time and finally there he is- smiling, handsome as ever.  White t-shirt, jeans and a smile so big and bright it filled up the whole room- his eyes met mine and his smile grew even bigger.  I think my heart melted in that moment.  As he walked closer to me it was literally as if time stood still.  I remember hearing people say things like this before and thought it was silly pogwash.  Yet in that moment everything became slow motion, as if in a movie.  I vividly remember saying to myself "This is precious.  Soak this up Cala.  Take this moment in for all it is.  This is going to be a moment you will remember for the rest of your life."

And it was.

When we met I gave him a quick hug and couldn't look at him.  He still makes fun of me for not being able to look at him the whole ride back.  All I could do was hold his hand and smile.  And oh man, was I smiling.

A Fortune in Friendship

I left this weekend from Wilmington N.C., where I celebrated my friend Kendra's amazing wedding, feeling so blessed for the incredible friendships that I have. I left nostalgic for the times when we were all together ; wishing for more.

It was amazing to reunite again after having not been together (w/ some) for over 6 years. It was wonderful to feel that none of us had changed all that much and that our love for one another hadn't faded with the time and space that life can often bring.

Friendships like these have always been the most important relationships to me, aside from my family of course. But as my friend reminded me this weekend- friendships are the family we choose for ourselves. And I must admit, I have chosen the best of the best.

The friends that matter are those that know me so well and accept me for who I am without judgement- my many neurosis and all. They remind me of who I am and push me to be the best version of myself.

They support, love, and guide me to find my own happiness. To have people in your life that can you support you in this way is the greatest gift and love of all. They are constants, your north stars guiding you on even when you can't see where you are going.

Such friendships are rare and I feel so blessed to have so many in my life.

My cup runneth over.

Yes please....

May we walk upon Nature's lands and swim among it's waters with awareness, appreciation, awe and kindness.

Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.
I am haunted by waters.

- A River Runs Through It


Happy Earth Day!!!!!

Coming Soon....

Well by January 2010 at least....when we live in our new home! Til then, the Romanian and I are dreaming away!

The only question is which one to get :)

Oh...and Dallas

Of Course.

All You Need Is Love...

Love is all you need.

Allowing What Is... to be What Is

While in Savasana during my Bikram yoga class last night, I struggled (as I usually do) to lie still, clear my mind and stay present.  

My new favorite instructor, who is the cutest and calmest man on the west side of Denver (and may or may not be a midget), asked us to give ourselves the gift of "allowing what is..to be what is" and to "savor in the experience of complete surrender."

Laughing inside, thinking - he clearly doesn't know me- I paused- and I thought "eh..why not!"

So I lay there arms and legs spread, belly out...and I imagined what it would feel like if I could accept everything in my life.  To see all aspects of my life as "what is, is what is."  How different my life experience would be if I simply trusted that everything that comes into my life (or on my mat) is perfect and that I don't have to TRY so hard to make my life look  how I think it should look.  

Now being the self-proclaimed type A person that I am, this was difficult to fully accept.  If you are anything like me you have a lot of expectations of how your life should go.  You have written/mental lists dictating your 1 year, 5 year, 10 year plan and you stress out when you realize how off course you are getting.   You think if you do certain things (a+b) then (c) will happen.

But you know what?  According to my "lists" by my 30th birthday I am expected to have 2 babies, a beautiful home, a puppy, a published novel and a feature film with an oscar nod....sooooooooooo......yeah, lists aren't exactly always on point or proactive.  They can ultimately stand in the way of appreciating and utilizing the amazing resources staring you straight in the face!

"Accepting what is...to be WHAT IS."  Simple words for such a liberating feeling.  After taking a few breaths and laying with those words-a sudden peace, calm, and acceptence came over me in such a way that told me that the words the midget had spoken were of great wisdom and that I should hold onto them.  

Laying there I decide for myself that the best gift I can give myself isn't another list or another expectation to lay on my shoulders... but the gift of allowing my life to be perfect just as it is- imperfections, mistakes, unfufilled expectations and all.  

We don't have to try so hard.  We are enough...just as we are.

Relationship Mantra

Relatıonshıps are meant to push us, refıne us,ınspıre us, make us better human beıngs.
They are meant to make us worthy of the mıracle of lıvıng and lovıng.
Its not supposed to be comfortable.

An Urban Return

Despite my bout with a tummy bug, an obnoxious UTI and quick trip to the Brooklyn Emergency Room, it was amazing to return to NYC and visit with friends. Once I got over the weird feeling of being a "visitor" in NYC it felt really great to be back. I so missed my NYC family and it was such a great reminder to me of how much love I have in that city. I am determined to work hard to visit the city as much as I can and nurture those incredible friendships. Man, am I blessed in the friends department!

New York City really is a world of its own- the incredible diversity, amazing culture, brilliant food, and the feeling of creativity and opportunity you can't help but become excited by. All of it just makes it such a very special place. One day I hope to go back with more tools (and money) under my belt.....

Until then, I really am glad to be living in Denver. The mountain life really is where my spirit is choosing to be right now and visiting NYC reaffirmed that for me. For whatever reason I feel that here, among the mountain air and fresh green fields, I can find my center with much more ease and live my life with a stronger sense of purpose, groundedness and awareness.

Learning how to listen (and trust) my gut has always been a great challenge for me. It feels really great to know that I'm finally beginning to listen, follow, and trust in my own path.