Whew

"Our only job is to show up and listen. When we allow ourselves to do these two simple things, art happens."

(sigh)...you mean we don't really have to try so hard?!?!?!

Thank god.

Encouragement

Your journey has molded you for your greater good.

And it was exactly what it needed to be.

Don't think that you've lost time.

It took each and every situation you have encountered

To bring you to the now.

And now is right on time.

-Asha Tyson

Are We There Yet?

Listening to this Ingrid Michaelson song. What I love about her music is that she has a way to write songs that reflect what I'm thinking/feeling about my life situation. We all can relate to her stories and songs. I love this song so much. I think everyone can relate to it, I sure can.

Are We There Yet?

They say that home is where the heart is
I guess I haven't found my home
And we keep driving round in circles
Afraid to call this place our own

And are we there yet?

They say there's linings made of silver
Folded inside each raining cloud
Well, we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

They say you're really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well, I am waiting to make somebody
Somebody soon

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

Where you will lie on the rug
While I play with the dog
And it won't be too much
'Cause this is too much
'Cause this is too much for me to hold
This is too much for me to hold

Home, home, home
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?

Home, home, home
Home, home, home, home

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there?

An Old Favorite

Song of Myself By Walt Whitman

I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
I loaf and invite my soul,
I lean and loaf at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.
My tongue, every atom of my blood, formed from this soil, this air,
Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and their parents the same,
I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin,
Hoping to cease not till death.
Creeds and schools in abeyance,
Retiring back awhile sufficed at what they are, but never forgotten,
I harbor for good or bad, I permit to speak at every hazard,
Nature without check with original energy.

A poem

I walk in circles no more, ready to use this voice.

Strong enough now to make my choice.

Stepping off a path that was never mine,

I give you your freedom to let you shine.

Still I stumble backwards, tripping over my feet.

Trying to find my way back to me.

The road is dark, foggy and unclear

I take a deep breath and hold God near.

Praying for clarity, praying for direction.

Feet still walking, I hear his inspiration.

"One step at a time is all you can do,

Especially when you can only see 12 inches in front of you.

Trust me, my child, you are safe with me.

Keep on pushing, you must believe.

Life is yours to discover, life is yours to create.

You must not let anyone else decide your fate.

Sometimes in life, love means letting go.

Sometimes the universe’s reasons are slow…

My beautiful child, walk on…walk on…

For only you know how to sing your song."

Peaks and Valleys

I have been reminded in the last 2 weeks just how painful, scary, sad, and confusing the valleys in life can be. How they can easily make you feel lost, alone, off center and broken.

I have been reminded in the last few months just how little control you have over other people, life circumstances. Though you can try, you can never really make another person happy. You have no control over the path someone else chooses to take. The only control we have is how we choose to walk along our path.

I choose to do so with grace, strength, love, and beauty. I will always try to help those that come along but no so much that I step off my path in doing so. I have learned that that isn't love.

I have been reminded in the last few days that sometimes in relationships love isn't always enough to last a lifetime...that sometimes loving someone means letting them go.

I have been reminded in the last year that being an artist is the most important role I play in my life and that I am the only one who can protect that and nurture that dream.

I am being reminded now that you can never really run away from who you are...that quiet voice will always be there reminding you of your truth...maybe it will be a whisper and at other times a scream...but always there waiting for you to follow it.

I am reminded that before anything or anyone else, no matter how much it may hurt...I must always love, respect, honor, and follow in the footsteps of my heart if I wish to find those things in another.

I am aware that life is meant to be full of peaks and valleys; that one is not better or worse than another...both are given to us as opportunities to reflect, grow, and learn from.

I am certain now that when life offers us its lowest valleys (its most dark, scary or sad).or when life hands us its highest peaks (full of of excitement and adventure)..we can walk through each with courage and trust by staying present, taking each step as it comes, and breathing in and out.

I have a mad crush...

.....on my yoga instructor. She is the best, seriously. My sister and I agree.

She looks like Cameron Diaz's older sister. She is always smiling, positive, and trying to make others realize their strength and potential. She never tries to be anything that she isn't. She doesn't have a "typical yogi" body and what I love about that is that she doesn't care or try to have one. She really is just 100% happy with who she is and accepts and embraces her own self.

Before each class she reads inspiring for us to meditate over throughout class and she is always encouraging us to trust ourselves and remember our breathe, even when we feel weak or discomfort. She always reminds us to follow our intuition and get in touch with our vibes and to push past what we think we can or can't do.

She just rocks! I feel lucky to have found that class and I love going, especially with my sister. Even if it is at 830 am on Saturday mornings.

Yesterday she focused on friendships and helped us cultivate the many faces and words that remind us of our friends. Through each pose she brought us to a place of appreciation for the many relationships we have and for how those relationships make us feel. I must say by the end of the class, I felt extremely grateful and lucky to have so many people that genuinely understand, love and support me...and make me laugh!

When you have friendships like these, that fill you up and see you for who you really are and believe in that person, it is easy to see those that don't...and it makes it easier to let them go.

Thank you Nancy, for yet another great class and for reminding me how blessed I am!

Puzzle pieces

"Arrange whatever pieces come your way" Virginia Woolf

I read this quote a couple of days ago and I've been thinking about it for some time now. I love it. It is so simple, so practical, yet so empowering to me.

In life, sometimes (well lets keep it real) MANY times, life throws pieces at us that we didn't plan for, that cause us pain and heartache and often just plain suck. The illness, the job loss, the broken relationship, the rejection of another job opportunity, an injury, another date with so not the right guy...so many pieces get thrown to us each day. Some beautiful, some not..but all puzzle pieces we are to create our experience with.

We don't have control over what comes into our path each day. We only have control over how we arrange those pieces in a way that makes our lives as happy, joyful, peaceful, and creative as possible.

For me this brings me great peace of mind and relief. If I have no control over the pieces coming into my life, then I can stop worrying about the results and just keep on pushing for the things I desire while arranging the pieces that I have each day and knowing that I did my part.

The rest is simply out of my hands.

Falling for Fall

I really am just in love with fall always have been.

There is something in the air that makes me feel like starting over, like a brand new year. Maybe it's the many years of starting school-getting new clothes, new binders, new lunch boxes. Starting soccer again. Catching up with friends about summer over the lunch table. Or maybe it's that I have so many things to look forward to throughout the season: Halloween, my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas just around the corner.

To anyone that knows me well knows how much I love the holidays. It just makes me so happy and feel so young and alive. It is the only time, really, in the year where baking is a joy to me!

Fall in Colorado really is just spectacular. The leaves here are just insane. Next weekend, Mihai and I are going to drive to Telluride to check out the Aspen trees and the leaves. I can't wait. For two people who love to travel, we sure haven't done much of it together! So, I'm glad we are starting to plan some things to do together, we need it!!!!

I feel a bit nostalgic lately too and I think some of that does have to do with the weather. As much as I am happy to be here and love this beautiful state I stilll don't feel quite "at home" here yet and hope that moving in Feb will make me feel a little bit more settled. Sometimes I wish my spirit were a little less wanderous and care-free. I wonder if I will ever feel completely settled down in a place. For some reason, the idea of "settling down" kinda creeps me out and makes me skiddish.

Or maybe I am just meant to live all over the world..that would be cool too.

One of the things that I love about being a teacher is the creativity and appreciation that comes out of you. So much of what we do curriculum wise is based around the seasons and it just really makes me appreciate and enjoy each season while the kids sing about pumpkins, while we paint apples to put on our apple tree, or see how cool they think it is when they paint their own aspen trees out of pinecones. It really just makes me slow down and remember just how cool the season really are and how each one offers us so much to have fun with!

Wow...random thoughts by Michaela Cullen today.

Word up.