Mindful Musings

this path, this road that is one perfect

straight line even if it goes around the world through heat and fog and rain and snow and it's my life I keep thinking.
It's my life.

*as read in the latest edition of Oprah Magazine

Faithful Furry Friends

As I'm sitting on my couch this Sunday morning, drinking my warm cup of coffee out of my favorite Brooklyn mug, I reflect on the weeks events.  I'm reminded of how precious yet difficult life can be.

This week has been one of many struggles for myself and those that I love.  From my dear friends who's canine friends are struggling to stay healthy and alive (one potentially being put down today) to the difficulty of letting go of trying to control a new or long term relationship- there seems to be lessons in letting go popping up all over the place.

I'm struck by how easy it sounds to just "let go" but how extraordinarily difficult it is to actually DO....particularly in instances when the love we have for that person, animal, relationship, career dream is so very strong.  

How do we let go when all we want to do is cling on for dear life?  

I wish I knew.

But perhaps we don't come with the knowledge of knowing how, perhaps we are here to discover that.. and maybe there are those walking among us that are here to teach us that very lesson.

If there were such teachers I would be certain they lay among our furry friends.  For I see in them such great examples of how to live a truly happyand present life.  They are fiercely loyal, full of unconditional love, and maintain a courage I've yet to find.  They are the best examples of letting go and remaining in the moment... whatever that moment may look like and however long that moment may be.

 Whether they are waiting on the side of a highway for their new family, growing greyer by the day with hips too weak to jump into the car...without a helping hand from their Auntie, or fighting like hell in the hospital- they never complain, they never worry.  

They take everything as it comes with an undeniable courage and faith.   They take every moment as it comes and relish in everything it has to offer- however simple. And no matter how many times we, as their owners, mess up- they are always wagging their tails and welcoming us home.

Yes, I think the answer lies there.

Truly United

I watched Obama take his oath as president among a classroom full of two year olds yelling "Go Babama!"  I was crying when Arethra Franklin sang in her ridiculously amazing hat and had goosebumps all over.  I am so happy to have a fresh new start for our country and I have such a feeling of hope, positivity, and faith in the new family entering the white house.  To have watched it with such a young future generation was incredibly inspiring and a great reminder of creating a better and healthier future for our little ones.

I hope that we remember the message of Unity and Peace that has echoed throughout our country and world during this election.  I hope that as the door to the oval office closes on one and opens to another, that everyone remain in this change together and look to one another with love and acceptance.   Whether your political views lay on the left or right side of the fence, whether your skin is of a different color, and your gender or sexual orientation different than your neighbor- I pray that we have the courage to put our differences aside for the common interest and good of our amazing country and for the entire world.

TO A NEW BEGINNING!!!

Sweet Intentions

This year is one, that I know will bring positive change and growth for me.  I have been working too hard for too long trying to find my way and I know that this year is gong to prove to be a huge leap in the right direction for me.  I anticipate a lot of hard work, persistence, patience, and trusting will be required of me but I am ready to prove to myself that I am worth the investment.  It is way past time.

Here are all the things I am going to accomplish this year:

1.  A completed reel for my film acting

2.  A savings account with enough money to go where I need to be and travel where I wish to travel and not have to stress about money.  (This means not spending money on anything I don't need in order to get to where I need to be.)

3. I am going to be in at least 2 stage productions in the Denver area.

4. I am going to take a film class and learn how to make films on my own.

5.  I am going to continue writing in my blog and the short scenes I've been working on.

6. I am going to invest 100% in my relationship and pray that it will grow in a way that nurtures both of us and supports our dreams together and for ourselves.  

7. I am going to relax and trust that whatever comes my way -is perfect.  As long as I continue to stretch, risk, and put my creative self out there- all will unfold perfectly.

8.  I am going to continue to be a great teacher to the kids in my classroom and be a great friend, daughter, sister, girlfriend.  I have been reminded numerous times lately how fleating life can be, how you never know when you will lose someone or something- so I will try to remain aware of what I DO have- all my many blessing- and be grateful.

9.  I am going to utilize the beautiful mountains and satisfy my craving for nature.

10.  I am going to plan a trip somewhere beautiful and go there just with my girlfriends :)

11.  I am going to get an agent in Denver and land 2 commericals at least!

And so it is!

AAAAAction!

I am so excited to finally have access to the trailer of the short film I shot during a weekend in October, Just a Little Game.

This film is a great combination of dark/light subjects and I liked the challenge the role brought me. Not to mention time to learn more about acting on film, which is incredibly different than stage acting.

Who knew opening your eyes too wide (in an attempt to show surprise) could automatically make you look like a mass murderer?

I sure didn't :) Very frightening stuff indeed!!!

Just a Little Game is a 10 minute short written/directed/edited by Tara Hunter. We used the new red camera which is my latest obsession. The quality of the images are insane.

I am so impressed with Tara and her mad skills (not to mention her super cool personality). She was so trusting and organic in her approach and in her relationships with us actors.

The actors and crew were awesome and I still keep in touch with many. They were all so helpful in guiding me as a new actress to the Denver area. I hope to work with them all again soon!

We still need to shoot one more scene in February and then will be able to share the final film with you all in Spring 2009. Until then, check out the trailer under 'my videos' on my facebook profile!

I am officially obssessed with filmmaking.

Old School Inspiration

I would like to  give a shout out to my dear friend, Casey Wilson, who has known me since the Old School years of G.W Middle School.   Casey is inspiring to me for having the courage to follow her dreams of writing/performing no matter what.  Her determination, hard work, commitment and creativity are an inspiration to me.  

Please go check out her feature film writing debute (shared with her extraordinary writing partner, June Raphael) and her supporting role in "Bride Wars."  I couldn't be prouder!

Fresh Starts

As I rang in the New Year -blowing my New Year's horn and sporting my ever so chic New Year's hat (amongst a four course meal on top of Beaver Creek Mountain in Colorado I might add :) ) I couldn't help but feel a mixture of happiness and sadness/anxiety for the approaching year.

In an attempt to perhaps tune out the incessant tooting of the little boy's horn sitting across the way-I took a trip down memory lane and began reflecting over the year past. So many changes, risks, leaps, awesome and challenging times have I gone through this year (as have each of us) and I wondered what new challenges and opportunities are in store for me in this next year.  As I gave the loudest kid of life a major stink eye, my life somehow came into slow motion and I sat there thinking....what's next?

The fear of getting older was never on my list of "things to worry about." Trust me, there are PLENTY on that list but that was never one of them. I always assumed all of my dreams would come true in the 'natural order' sense of things.  I felt certain that my husband and soon to be family would be a graceful, absolute knowing and organic process and that my career path would be an easy road built open various projects I undertook. Perhaps it will still unfold that way- my god i'm not 80 i'm 29- but as I enter the last year before my 30th birthday, I can't help but feel disappointed by the many things I have yet to accomplish and not ring the new year in with a bit of reflection and self-awareness...here's what I soon determined...

1.My dreams will only come true the farther I reach for them. Reaching requires action- not sitting on my ass wishing, waiting and praying for them to fall in my lap.

2.The art of making your dreams come true requires commitment, hard work, determination, focus and faith in yourself. I am seeing that in everything I want (a creative/artistic/spiritual career, a loving and trusting husband, children (onnnne day) etc) requires a positive focus and constant action rather than backing down when challenges/hardship/and tests come my way.

And

3. Making your dreams come true requires a faith in yourself that will stand the any length of time, rejection, judgement. Let your inner child direct you and be unembarrassed in your dreams and actions. It is your life and only you know what makes your heart sing....give yourself time and silence to make friends with that voice.  Then trust it enough to follow it.
*                                                                                   *                                                                           *
The truth that I know for myself is that in the past...I have backed down to these brick walls too many times. I have let the circumstances of life; my fears, doubts, negative thinking direct my actions and not my inner voice. I have let practical voices be my North Star and not my heart. I have walked away from things when the brick wall appears and labeled it "wrong" as opposed to "challenging" and I have been the only person that has suffered because of it.

And to be fair, I HAVE also kicked some major ass in my time!

I am scared, as always, to risk but know that the time is now. I think of the ways in which I did risk this year and how amazing the gains have been and I am focused on standing true to what my heart wants to do in the year to come. 

I am focused on creating more art and finding a career in that field. I am committed to being in a relationship that is right for me and my future goals.  I am determined to stay present and know that the real and best things in life are not perfect- no relationship, career etc.) I am faithful that my life is unfolding perfectly.

It will be interesting to see what this year brings- if my intuition is right.  However this year plays out, I know that I will become a better, stronger, more aware and creative person because of it.  As will each of you, my friends.

Mindful Musings

Someone once said that God puts brick walls in front of us, not to tell us we are heading down the wrong path, but as a test to see how much we truly want something. If we really want something we will always find a way around that brick wall.